Letters to Alice
by Lily1497
Summary: It all starts one day in early December,a few months after Edward and the rest of the Cullens left, when Bella finds an old email from Alice. She knows they're never coming back..
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: This is sort of my version of New Moon. I know the whole letters things was in the movie, but I started imagining what they said, what might happen, etc. Hope you like it and please review, whether it's good or bad. : )**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight or any of its characters. They belong to Stephenie Meyer.**

I sat up in bed, muffling my screams with my hand. It was the nightmare again. It was always the same one, and it always caused me to wake up like this, screaming in horror. I looked at the little green numbers on the alarm clock by my bed. They read 4:10 AM. I groaned and slumped back onto the pillow. I knew I wouldn't be able to fall asleep again, not that I wanted to, so I sat up again and carefully got to my feet, feeling around in the darkness for the light switch. I found it and flipped the lights on. I blinked, letting my eyes adjust to the sudden light. I looked around my little room. It was very tidy. Too tidy. I frowned. It was like nobody lived here. How depressing.

I walked over to my desk, switching on the old computer and sitting down on the edge of my bed to wait. I stared off into space, thinking.

I wondered what Edward was doing right now. I cringed at his name, which had popped involuntarily into my thoughts. Pain ripped through my chest; I curled up into a ball at the foot of my bed. It hurt to think about… him. Like there was a hole punched through my chest. Emptiness.

After a few minutes, I sat up slowly, breathing hard. I knew this wasn't normal, wasn't healthy, but it was just something you can't help. Something that happens and there's no going back.

I sat down in front of the now-groaning computer and stared blankly at the screen, not sure why I'd gotten on the computer in the first place. I'd just replied to Renee's last email yesterday. Idly, I opened up my email page and looked through the backlog of old, already-read-and-replied-to messages. All of the recent ones were from Renee. When I reached as far back as September 5th I stopped, shocked. There was a different name, a different address there. I closed my eyes and held my face in my hands.

The email was from Alice. I knew it was old, and I'd already read it, and that this was _before, _but I had an urge to read through it again. I knew this would hurt, not as much as when I thought about…. Edward, but it would still hurt. Instead of a crushing pain in my chest, there was a ghost of that pain. I grimaced and turned back to the message.

_Hey, Bella!_

_So I was thinking, we should go shopping on Saturday. Edward is going hunting with Jasper and Rose that day, so you're free. I would've asked you in person, but I'm going hunting with Jasper and Emmett soon, and Emmett's getting impatient (no surprise), so I needed to hurry up. Anyway, I'll pick you up bright and early Saturday morning! _

_Love, Alice_

When I stopped reading, I realized there were tears in my eyes; I wiped them away hurriedly. I stopped looking at the rest of the old messages, knowing a lot of them would be from Alice.

Alice.

I wasn't sure what came over me, but I felt the urge to send her an email. I knew this was totally out of the blue, and pointless, as I knew… Edward… would've made her stop using this email, knowing I would try to talk to her. But there was always the tiniest chance that somehow, she would see it. _He _didn't care anymore, not that _I _didn't but the point was, _Alice _cared. Even a little. Or had she grown tired of me too? I bit my lip, trying to decide. Finally, I clicked the "compose message" button and typed in her familiar address. Who cared if I was sending emails to nobody? I _wanted _to.

I started,

_Dear Alice,_

_I know you probably won't get his, as…. Edward… would've been very careful. But I wanted to try. I know it's pretty much useless, and stupid, but frankly, I don't really care. It'll all catch up to me tonight of course, the pain. But I wanted to try, try to contact you, know you exist __somewhere._ _I haven't been doing especially well since you all left. But I'm still here, alive. I guess that's a plus. Or not. I can see this isn't going anywhere; it's completely useless most likely. But I think I'll feel a little better. Sure, it's not as good as venting to someone in person, let alone venting to __a__ person_. _I'm venting to a computer. Lovely. Maybe this has all gotten to me, making me insane. I hear Charlie getting up. I've been trying to hide it all from him. I'm trying to be normal, for him. Not to lose myself, go completely mental. I know he needs me, and maybe that's the only thing keeping me here. I miss you. All of you guys. It hurts to think about it. It feels like there's a hole in my chest, like when all you left, you took a big piece of me with you guys. I know it sounds stupid. But it's the truth. I don't really know how I've lasted this long. It's like… it's not __me __living my life. Like I'm missing. I don't know. _

_Love, Bella_

I hit send and flung myself onto the bed, pulling the blankets over myself. I shuddered and bit down on my lower lip. I closed my eyes and imagined what my life would be like if only Edward and Alice and the others were here. The pain was taking over and I screamed into my pillow, wrapping my arms around myself, trying not to explode into a million pieces. It was overpowering, and I started sobbing. They were never coming back, any of them. Ever. Alice would never get my email, I knew that much. I should've never sent it. It would only make life that much harder. The emptiness swallowed me up and I knew I'd brought this on myself. I'd gone too deep into the memories and this was the consequences. The realization that they were gone forever, never coming back, hit hard, though I'd already known this. Most of all, I knew… _Edward,_ I forced myself to think his name, was never coming back. He didn't care, didn't love me, I wasn't good enough for him. I was a mere human, weak, boring, an annoyance. I bit down on the pillow and curled into a tighter ball, letting the pain have me.

I was alone in this world with nobody to turn to.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: This is the second chapter, I'm not entirely sure exactly where this is going, I'm just making it up as I go along lol. So here we go…**

I woke up the next morning, a Sunday, as usual: screaming. After I'd calmed down somewhat, I got up and went downstairs. There was a note from Charlie on the notepad by the phone:

_Bella, went fishing with Harry and Billy, I'll be back before dinner. Sorry._

Great. So I was left alone to face the day. Not that I'd rather have Charlie _here._ It was just so hard to pretend for him. I knew it was essential, I couldn't ever let on exactly how _much_ I love... Edward. Pain ripped through me at the name, but I tried to ignore it. I poured myself some cereal and sat down at the table to eat.

I tried to decide what I should do now. I knew I shouldn't get my hopes up to get a reply back, so I beat down the faintest hints of anticipation. Alice was never going to _get _the letter, so there was no way she was going to _reply _to it. I wasn't even entirely sure if she would write back even if she did get the email. As far as I could tell, she'd grown bored with me too. Maybe it was all an act. Vampires are good at acting, they have to be.

I realized my breath was coming in shallow gasps, and I quickly directed my thoughts to a different topic, well aware that I was making things worse. I thought about school tomorrow. I knew I wasn't as zombie-ish as the last couple months, but I hadn't changed _that _much. I wasn't numb anymore; I could feel the pain when my thoughts wandered to them… to Edward. I winced. But I wasn't changed. Nobody cared enough to see the small difference in me. Angela had been nicer than most, and her boyfriend Ben, and Mike, but other than that, everyone I knew had begun to ignore me.

When I finished my breakfast I rinsed out my bowl and spoon and when upstairs to take a shower and get dressed. When I came back down, I felt the need to go outside. I felt claustrophobic. I grabbed my raincoat and stepped outside into the light rain. I shivered and made my way across the yard absentmindedly.

Too late, I realized where I was heading. The trail where it happened. Where all happiness in my life had ended. It seemed my subconscious was trying to put me in as much pain as possible. I squeezed my eyes shut and turned away. Right there, I collapsed to the ground, clutching at the wet grass and ripping it out. I screamed in pain. It was too much, I couldn't take this anymore.

**APOV**

I sat down on the low couch in the living room, thinking hard. I was kind of glad Edward wasn't here, or he would complain to me about thinking about Bella. I wondered how she was doing. Edward seemed to think she would get over it, move on. But I knew her better than that, and I knew it wasn't that simple. Not to say Edward didn't know her, he knew her better than any of us, but he was blinded with trying to protect her. I would've been watching her if it weren't for him. I knew better than to get on his bad side right now, and he had stressed to me time and time again not to look into her future, saying we'd done enough.

I sighed in frustration, rubbing my face. Jasper sat next to me and put his arms around my shoulders. He could feel my mixed emotions right now, irritation at Edward, anxiety and worry for Bella, my frustration. I looked into his eyes and then hugged him. He kissed the top of my head and we sat there for awhile, just enjoying each other's company.

Emmett's loud and cheerful laugh could be heard in the distance. I wondered what was so funny. I started grinning a little and Jasper let go, pulling me up to stand and then we ran out the door.

Later, I was staring out the window, into the darkness. It was snowing outside, and I could see each little flake drift down, ever so slowly. Then I was pulled into a vision.

Edward was standing in a forest, a tropical forest, and he looked pretty pissed off. He kicked a tree and sent it flying, causing a small flock of noisy birds to take flight. He turned and ran the opposite direction. The vision ended and I blinked a few times. He looked like he was in South America or somewhere like it. I frowned. What could he be doing there? I'd been watching Victoria for the past few weeks, and she had turned around, heading back north. I'd thought Edward was tracking her? I shook my head slightly, and thought of something else. Esme and Carlisle were going hunting tomorrow night and Jasper and I were going tonight. I stood up, going to find him. I needed to take my mind off of this.

**BPOV**

Hours later, I got up, soaking wet and shivering, and trudged to the house. I was losing it. It was the only explanation. I was going insane. Not that I wasn't already, of course. I changed into dry clothes in crawled into bed, pulling the covers around me. I knew Charlie would be home soon, and I should go make dinner, but I didn't care. I closed my eyes and drifted into a doomed sleep. There was no way to escape the nightmares. Whether I was awake or sleeping, I was living a nightmare.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N Sorry again for forgetting all about this! ): Hope you like it, and please please review, even if you didn't like it, go ahead and tell me that :]**

_Two weeks later_

Bella POV

It was almost Christmas, and there was a thick blanket of snow outside. Angela had invited me to go Christmas shopping with her on Saturday. Grasping at the opportunity to get out of the house for once, I accepted.

Since it was Friday, I sighed and dragged myself out of bed to go take a shower.

The day was uneventful. After the morning classes, I sat with Angela and Ben at lunch, with Mike jabbering away across the table about a movie he said we should all go see. I tried to avoid answering, as I was afraid it would turn into a date or something.

That afternoon, after putting dinner on, I went upstairs. After I finished my homework, I checked my email. No reply from Alice. As usual. Not that I expected her to answer. But I couldn't keep my hopes down. Glumly, I answered Renee's most recent email, trying to sound cheerful.

After dinner, I went back upstairs after washing the dishes. Charlie seemed like he wanted to saw something to me, but he never did.

I lay on the bed, fully clothed staring at the ceiling. Torturing myself. Edward was never coming back. I would never hear his honey-velvet smooth voice again. Never see his glorious face again and never see him smile his beautiful, crooked smile. I cried myself to sleep that night.

Alice POV

I saw that Edward would call me in exactly five seconds. I flipped open my cell phone and answered almost before it could ring.

"Hey Edward!" He didn't answer for a moment, but then he said,

"Hi Alice." I waited.

"… I followed her false trail down to South America and came back to try to see where she tricked me."

"…I knew that." He sighed.

"I'm no good at this…" he groaned, and I could hear that he was running.

"Edward. Victoria is nowhere near Washington. I'm positive." Victoria had just met up with Laurent, the remaining vampire in the coven she was in.

"You haven't been-"His voice turned angry, and I could hear the pain behind it that he was trying to hide.

"No, no, no, I haven't been. but couldn't hurt to just take a quick look, to see if she's-" He was worried that I had been watching Bella.

"No. Alice, we can't interfere anymore. I promised… B-Bella." His voice broke at her name.

Softly, I said, "Edward.. Have you ever thought that maybe… it would've been alright? Even if we… hadn't left?" I winced. I shouldn't have asked. I took at deep breath and waited for his pained reply.

"…No. This is the only way. She deserves better than me."

I sighed. "Edward- "

"I have to go. I need to hunt."

"But-"He hung up. I growled and tossed the cell phone on the sofa. Jasper and the others were out hunting. I sat for a few minutes, idly wondering how this was so messed up. There had to be a way to fix this. Edward was in so much pain… it was horrible. I had no idea what condition Bella was in. I wished I could see her. As if on cue, a vision came to me, and I watched the scene in my head.

It was in Bella's familiar room, the bed messed up and books stacked up by the desk. The ancient computer was grumbling loudly, and Bella was sitting in the desk chair. She didn't look well at all. Her skin was paler than ever and there were dark circles under her eyes. Her hair was limp, and she had a gloomy look about her. I looked closer, at the screen. She was sending an email to Re- no… she wasn't sending it to Renee. It was my old email; the one Edward had had me stop using months ago. I gasped, and the vision swirled away, and I was sitting in the living room again, on the sofa, all alone.

I sat perfectly still, shocked. She was sending an email… to me. I hesitated. Should I? I knew Edward would be furious if he found out. But I knew, if the email were to him, he would have an excruciatingly hard time trying not to read it too. I raced to the laptop on the table in the bedroom, and logged into the familiar email in a heartbeat. There it was. 1 new message. I looked at the subject line in bold letters. I hesitated again.

Finally, I clicked the message. It read,

_Dear Alice,_

_ I know you probably won't get his, as… Edward… would've been very careful. But I wanted to try. I know it's pretty much useless, and stupid, but frankly, I don't really care. It'll all catch up to me tonight of course, the pain. But I wanted to try, try to contact you, know you exist __somewhere._ _I haven't been doing especially well since you all left. But I'm still here, alive. I guess that's a plus. Or not. I can see this isn't going anywhere; it's completely useless most likely. But I think I'll feel a little better. Sure, it's not as good as venting to someone in person, let alone venting to __a__ person_. _I'm venting to a computer. Lovely. Maybe this has all gotten to me, making me insane. I hear Charlie getting up. I've been trying to hide it all from him. I'm trying to be normal, for him. Not to lose myself, go completely mental. I know he needs me, and maybe that's the only thing keeping me here. I miss you. All of you guys. It hurts to think about it. It feels like there's a hole in my chest, like when all you left, you took a big piece of me with you guys. I know it sounds stupid. But it's the truth. I don't really know how I've lasted this long. It's like… it's not __me __living my life. Like I'm missing. I don't know. _

_Love, Bella_

For a long time after, I sat reading the letter over and over. It was impossible. It was from Bella. _Bella._ She was hurting, bad. It broke my heart to read it. My breathing was stopped, and all was still. I closed my eyes and rubbed my temples. This was not good. For either of them. If Edward saw this, knew that Bella was in pain, even just a little, he would… he would what? Go back? I almost smiled. But the smile faded away immediately.

What if Bella didn't want him back? I frowned. No. She missed us. All of us. Including Edward. Probably mostly Edward.

What if knowing Bella was hurt didn't help things at all? What if he hated himself all the more because of it, knowing he was the cause of it? And I couldn't deny he was the cause of it. I knew he was trying to protect her though. I knew he loved her so much it was unimaginable. But he caused this, and he would blame himself for it, naturally.

Not that I would ever show him this.

I groaned and closed the webpage. No matter how much I wanted to, for Edward's sake I couldn't reply. Even if I knew this wasn't working, not by a long shot, knew that this wasn't helping Bella at all, that she wasn't living a normal life, I couldn't hurt him like that. He would also very angry, but more hurt than furious.

I heard Jasper come into the big house downstairs. I stood up and tried to put on a smile. I had to keep this secret. Even from Jasper.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: I've been having kind of a hard time writing lately. I have a question I'm going to ask the 3 or 4 people who actually even read this story: Do you think I should continue on writing this story? **

**Here's the next chapter :]**

BPOV

Dead silence. Pitch darkness. My breathing calm and even. Nothing moving in the whole house. Snow was blowing silently outside, a faint white glow in the light of the streetlamp.

BAM!

The door flew open and banged against the wall. Faintly I heard Charlie's snores die down for a moment, then restart again, louder.

A tall, dark figure stood in my doorway. I sat bolt upright, breathing fast, my heart pounding in my ears. I squinted into the darkness at the figure.

"Who's there?" my voice rang in the silence and blackness.

The figure moved slowly farther into the room. I slid a little farther away on my bed. "Stay away from me!" The figure stopped. Then,

"Bella… It's me. Edward." I gasped loudly. Too shocked for words, I leapt out of bed and hurtled toward him. The dark figure reached along the along the wall and flipped the light on. I stopped in my tracks. The sight took my breath away. I blinked. It was really him!

I hurled myself at him and he smiled his same old beautiful, crooked grin. He wrapped his arms around my waist, pulling me closer, leaning down…

Beep. Beep. Beep.

I groaned and rolled over, stuffing the pillow over my head. The dream was leaving me quickly, and I struggled to remember…

Beep. Beep. Beep.

I sighed heavily as a sat up, my hair wild. I slammed down my fist on the snooze button. It was only a dream. A tear silently rolled down my tired face. Then another. I brushed them off angrily and stomped across the room to find something to wear.

_Getting all worked up over a dream! Bella Swan, you stop it right now, or you're going to go insane all over again!_

_ Talking to yourself is never a good sign, Bells._

_ Oh, shut it._

I growled incoherently under by breath and tiptoed out into the hallway, heading to the bathroom to take a shower. Charlie was snoring softly, and the sun was starting to peek in through the windows. I went quietly down the stairs to take a quick peek in the kitchen and living room. For what, I don't know.

_Great. Just wonderful. Now you're going to be expecting… Edward… to be bursting in out of nowhere and pulling you into his arms._

I snapped the bathroom door shut. My head ached slightly, and I frowned as I turned on the hot water. What I needed now was a nice, calming shower. Then I had to get ready to go shopping with Angela. My stomach turned nervously. I wasn't ready for this. Especially after that dream. What if I broke down right in front of her? She had reason enough already to think I was crazy, _that_ certainly wouldn't help.

I sighed and stepped into the shower. The hot water didn't have much effect.

EPOV

Never. In my entire _existence. _Have I _ever_ screwed up so _badly._

First, I left Bella. It was the best thing to do for her, but to me it was the most horrifying experience in the world. I felt the pain and regret in me everywhere I went, all the time. It was a constant weight, and when I closed my eyes, I saw Bella's face in my mind. It was slightly comforting to know I would never forget how her long, silky hair waved gently down her back, how her deep brown eyes looked, how her cheeks reddened at times.

Second, I discovered that I _ABSOLUTELY FAIL _at tracking. I had been so close. _So close._ Then I made the obvious mistake, falling for _her_ trick. I wasn't even on the right continent! I mentally kicked myself every time I thought about, it, which was often. I found a trail Laurent had made, in Colorado. Not that Colorado is especially close to Washington, but still, I would keep a close eye on that.

At the moment though, I desperately need to hunt. Just yesterday I had very nearly lost control when I crossed the path of a stray hiker.

I set off through the trees in the small forest. A quick hunt, then back to follow Laurent's trail. He wasn't going anywhere near Forks, I would make sure of that. But why? Victoria and Laurent knew we'd left. If it was revenge they wanted, they had no reason to go after…Bella. A stab of pain hit me at the thought of her. If it was revenge they wanted, why were they running from me, leading me away? I reassured myself: They had no reason to go to Bella. None at all.

I was constantly worrying about Bella. There were all kinds of horrible scenarios that could happen to her that I couldn't help but imagine. Car crashes. Kidnappings. Getting caught in a tornado. Drowning. Chief Swan's house burning to the ground. Getting cancer. Getting shot by a terrorist. Getting attacked by a bear. Running into another coven of vampires. With Bella's luck, it was likely she would. There were just so many things that could happen to humans, and often did. It was extremely hard not to go back and beg to be accepted, to apologize hard and be there to protect her. But I knew I mustn't. She deserved a normal life. She deserved better than me.

I shuddered and directed my thoughts elsewhere before I could get too worked up.

Even running wasn't the same without her. It was almost dull, really. I longed to feel the pressure of her clinging onto my neck, holding onto me for dear life as I sped through the trees. Sometimes I had wished she could feel what I felt. See how very easy it was to dart in and out of the spaces between the trees. Feel how exhilarating the speed was.

I stopped my thoughts, right there. It was getting more painful by the minute. It was like she was a magnet, pulling me towards her. It felt like it was going against nature to resist. But I did, with all my might. I had to stay _away. _Another sharp pang in my still heart.

I made myself focus on hunting now. It was just getting to be too much. I couldn't take this too much longer, I knew it. I knew I wouldn't be able to stay away. Not for long, anyway.

APOV

Things were getting harder. Twice already I'd almost slipped up and mentioned the letter to Jasper. But I caught myself just in time. He was getting suspicious, I knew. I changed my password on the email account, just in case Jasper happened to look there. I know it's a bit paranoid of me, since not even _I _had checked it, before now.

One night, I got another email from Bella. I had been checking it every couple hours since the first one, hoping she would still confide in the emails that she thought I didn't read. I had to wait until Emmett took Jasper out hunting though, and it was hard to wait. But finally, I could hear their voices fading off in the distance and I jumped up, the house empty for once. Rose was out shopping and Esme and Carlisle were working. I leaped up the steps and raced to my laptop setting on the desk.

I quickly logged in and clicked the message. It said,

_Dear Alice,_

_Like I said. You're probably not reading this right now, but… still, there's that one tiny little chance. Even if you were reading this, you probably don't care much about my human troubles._

_It's been awful. I have literally not left the house for anything else besides work and school since… I don't remember when. My grades are starting to drop. I was a mess when you left. But, I guess I'm at least a little better now, since Angela asked me to come shopping today. I probably won't have too much fun, but it'll be nice to get out for once._

_Charlie's fine, maybe a little worried, but I've been being careful to be normal for him. Going to school, getting good grades ( well, until a few weeks ago I guess…), going to work, saving for college, not getting into trouble. I've also been careful not to "mope" after he had an.. uh… talk with me about going to join my mother in Florida._

_Well, I guess I should go wait for Angela now. Um. Bye? I feel foolish. Ugh. _

I read it over a few times, and then silently closed the page. You could tell she definitely wasn't doing well. At all. I felt grateful, however, that Angela Weber had asked Bella to go out. She certainly needed it. If I ever had the chance, I would be sure to thank Angela somehow.

"Knock, knock!" I almost shrieked with surprise. Weirdly, I hadn't heard Jasper come in the room, or the house, or the yard. I quickly pushed away from the desk and got up.

"Hey Jazz. Back early?" I said, trying to sound cheerful.

"Nah. I just wanted to come back and say Edward called, he sounded kinda worried. Something about Laurent and Washington, I couldn't hear much. He hung up on me.

"Laurent?" I almost shrieked, alarmed. Laurent? In Washington?

"Yeah. He didn't say much else though. I think you should call him back."

I stood there, frowning a little. A sudden pang of worry hit me and I opened my mouth to speak. "Jasper, I-"

Sensing my worry, he closed the distance between us and held me in his strong arms. "It's ok. Nothing's going to happen to Bella. Edward will make sure of that."

Knowing he was right, I stood on my tiptoes and kissed him gently. He smiled and led me to the living room, where Emmett sat on the couch, tapping his foot impatiently.

"C'mon, you guys. Looks like a thunderstorm. How about it?"

I looked ahead about a half hour. I could see it would be a severe thunderstorm, with lots of rain and lightning.

"Not the absolute _best _baseball weather, but it's ok. It's just a good thing Rose isn't here; she wouldn't want to play because of all the rain." Emmett grinned and made to punch my arm playfully, but I dodged him.

Later on, after Jasper, Emmett, Carlisle, Esme and I had finished up our game, ( Carlisle, Emmett and I won),after we changed into dry clothes and settled down to do our usual hobbies and work for the night, I sneaked up to Jazz and I's room while Jasper and Emmett were playing chess. I wanted to call Edward, for I hadn't forgotten about Laurent, and the worry for Bella hadn't left me all evening.

I sat on the edge of the sofa, waiting for Edward to pick up. Finally,

"Alice." said Edward's urgent voice over the phone. " I tried to call you but your phone was shut off. Laurent is in Washington. I picked up a trail a few hours before I called Jasper. It was in Colorado, so I wasn't too worried. I went hunting." I heard him moan and smack his hand to his face. "I was so stupid! I shouldn't have-"

"Edward, what?"

"Laurent is in Washington. I-I went hunting and followed his trail all the way up to the Washington border. I might…I might have to go over there. I don't know why he would be after Bella, but I'm worried. What if he already-"

His voice was starting to get more and more panicked.

"Edward, Edward, calm down. Bella is-" I stopped dead. I'd almost let slip again! Of course, I alone knew Bella was still alive, because her letter had been sent this morning. Though a lot could happen in an afternoon. But…He couldn't know, he couldn't know…

"…Bella is… going to be alright. Don't worry, I didn't look." I said grimly, knowing he would object to me looking into her future. "I can just feel it. I think you should follow the trail the rest of the way and see where it goes. He might not be heading for Forks…"

He didn't seem convinced, but he calmed down and after a few minutes more, we said good night and I snapped the phone shut. I groaned and stood up. This was not happening. There was no way Bella was in danger. That was the whole freaking point of leaving! So she would be safe! No. Victoria and Laurent were simply hunting in Washington. No need to worry. It's a big state. They'll move on in a day or two…


	5. Chapter 5

BPOV

Angela picked me up around 10 o'clock and we rode in silence for a few minutes. I was kind of glad that she wasn't asking me about things, because I was afraid I would start crying or sobbing or completely lose it or something.

"So, Bella, how are you?" she looked over at me with a concerned expression on her face. I winced internally; this would not be an easy question. It felt wrong to lie to Angela; there was just something about her….

"Uh…I'm fine I guess. Just a little… you know." Of course, she didn't know. She had no clue what this felt like. Sure, she'd had breakups before, but those were normal sorry-this-isn't-working-out breakups. She also didn't know they were vampires, and that it was very highly unlikely I would ever see or hear from them again. I took a deep breath to calm myself and looked at Angela cautiously.

She was facing the road again and had a worried expression on her face. "Are you sure?"

I nodded.

"Bella, I'm not…trying to nose around, I know you don't want to talk about this. But I want you to know that I'm here if you ever want to…talk about it. Okay?" she glanced at me.

"Thanks Ang." I smiled at her.

The rest of the ride to Port Angeles was more comfortable. She talked and I caught up with what was happening to everyone else. There certainly was a lot of drama, and I was suddenly glad I didn't have to be a part of _that. _

We stopped in front of the small mall and got out, still talking.

"So, what are you planning on shopping for?"

"Oh, just some Christmas presents, maybe a few other things…"

"Yeah, me too. First I want to go find something for the Christmas dance next week. Want to come?"

"Nah… I'm just going to go look around…Meet you here in an hour?"

"Sure." Angela smiled and set off to look for her dress, taking one last look over her shoulder at me. I sighed and walked around idly for a few minutes. I really had no idea what to get Charlie. What was he into? Fishing….sports… I couldn't think of much else. I went to the sporting goods store and got him a couple new spools of fishing line and some lures. I would find something else some other time.

Coming out of the sporting goods store with a bag on my arm, I glanced at the huge clock. I had about half an hour before I would go meet Angela. I wandered around some more and bought Renee a gift. At fifteen minutes till I had to meet Angela, I saw something that made me stop in my tracks and gasp so loudly that a few people stared at me.

It was him. Edward. Edward Cullen. _Edward. _

But when I blinked in disbelief, he was gone. I rushed up to the place where I'd seen him and looked around carefully. He wasn't there. I searched frantically all over, but to no avail. Finally, I realized I only had three minutes to meet Angela, so I gave up my searching and walked slowly to the area we were to meet at.

Could have really been him? Yes, it could have been, I thought. Same beautiful, pale face with dark eyes and expensive clothes. Same bronze hair. _It was him. _I knew it. It had to be him.

Angela was waiting for me, and when she saw me coming, she smiled and picked up her bags.

"Hey Bells. Get your shopping done?"

"Most of it. I can come back another day and get whatever else I need to get. Should we go eat? I'm starving."

"Sure." We went to Burger King and ate. It was mostly a quiet lunch, as I was still in shock about what I'd glimpsed back there. It had to have been Edward. It just had to be. Nobody else looked like that _anywhere. _Angela pulled me out of my thoughts.

"You looked worried about something. You okay?" I panicked for a moment, then decided to just say something.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Just…wondering what I should get…my mom for Christmas."

"What does she like?"

"Oh, it changes from time to time; it's hard to know what she really wants. It'll have to be something reasonably small, so I can send it."

"Gosh….I wouldn't be able to be so far away during the holidays. I would be so homesick."

"Yeah…I'm sort of used to being away now. I mean, I've been away from home for Christmas before…I came here to visit Charlie a couple times. I have to admit I didn't like it much." I chuckled and sipped my Coke.

The rest of the afternoon was pretty much uneventful. We walked around, looking into various shop windows, occasionally going into one. I bought myself a new book at the bookstore in town and Angela bought her little brothers' presents.

"Hey Bells, want to go see a movie? We have a few hours to kill before we have to head home, and there are not too many stores around, we hit the most interesting ones."

"Uh, sure, why not? Where's the theater?"

"Just down the street."

I was glad about that; I was getting a little tired from all the walking around. We went in and bought tickets for some dumb romance, since Angela didn't feel much like an action movie at the moment. I wasn't too enthused about it, but I didn't show it.

After we bought some popcorn and sat down, the lights dimmed and the movie started. I squirmed uncomfortably in my seat, glad Angela couldn't see my face. I concentrated on eating my popcorn and tried not to pay any attention to the movie.

But try as I might, I couldn't block out the cheesy lines and romantic scenes. I grimaced and sneaked my hand into my pocket, feeling around….I found it. I pulled out my IPod and sneakily put the earphones in. I turned it on…

Loud rock music blasted out of the earphones and I screamed and pulled them out. Everyone looked around in the dark, and I sunk low in my seat, blushing furiously. Angela looked at me quizzically and raised her eyebrows, a small smile on her lips. I blushed harder and pushed my IPod into my sweater pocket.

The rest of the movie passed excruciatingly slow, and my chest ached where the slightly healed hole was. This was not good. First my horrible yet wonderful dream this morning, then seeing Edward in the mall, now I was stuck watching a romance in a dark theater with Angela.

After it was _finally _over, we left the theater and walked briskly to the car. Angela kept looking at my funny and I wondered what was on her mind. We reached the car just as it was getting dark outside and Angela slowly pulled out. As we were driving home, the light fading quickly, Angela said,

"Why did you scream in the theater?" she giggled.

"Oh… um…I just thought I'd listen to my iPod for awhile… the movie…wasn't really very…uh, interesting." She giggled again and turned back to the wheel.

As we pulled into my driveway half an hour later, I sighed.

"It was really fun today, Ang. I'm glad you invited me."

"I am too, Bells." She smiled warmly at me and I got out. I watched her drive away as I stood in the softly falling snow. After just standing, taking the snowy scene in, I walked slowly up to the door. I fumbled with my keys and dropped them on the snowy porch. As I bent down to pick them up, I heard a rustle in the trees at the edge of the yard. I straightened up quickly and looked around, squinting into the darkness. Then, shivering, I picked up my keys and unlocked the door hurriedly. I opened it and walked in.

"I'm back, Dad!" Charlie came into the entrance and helped me out of my jacket.

"Have fun, Bells?"

"Yeah, I did. It was nice to get out for once." Charlie beamed and went back into the living room to watch his game. I went and put my bags away in my room and then came back downstairs. I saw the pizza box lying on the table and frowned.

"Char- Dad? You didn't have to order pizza. I should have called and said I was on my way ba-"

"No, no, no. It's fine, Bella. Really. You cook every night, and do the dishes. Besides, I'm glad you went to Port Angeles and had some fun for a change.

I smiled at him a little and took a piece of the pizza up to my room. I checked my email and then clicked " Compose" and typed in Alice's address. It's was starting to become a habit.

_Dear Alice,_

_Today was nice. I went to Port Angeles with Angela and I got my parents Christmas presents. We also went to a movie, which I didn't enjoy very much for certain…reasons .Also, I saw something strange today in the mall, and I'm starting to believe I imagined it. I saw…Edward. And then a moment later he was…gone. I looked all over, but I didn't find him. _

_It's making me…I don't know. It's making me hurt the way it did when…you first left. I have been getting a little better, but now I think I'm getting worse, with all the reminders. I had a dream this morning. In the dream, I was sleeping, and…Edward was there. And um… just before we were going to…kiss….I woke up. _

Not wanting to stay on that subject for long, I wrote,

_Anyway, I really think the trip to Port Angeles helped a little. At least, I got my mind off of things for awhile. Angela is very perceptive, like my mom. She sees things in people others don't. That can be a good thing, or it can be a problem. Tonight, I feel like it's a good thing. It's nice to have someone there for you when you're…well, like me. _

_I have to go now, since I'm dead tired after today. I'm not used to doing things like that anymore._

_Night._

Hitting send, I threw myself onto my bed, and, fully clothed, shoes and all, I fell asleep.

**A/N: Kind of short, but that felt like the right place to end it. :] Have a safe and Happy Halloween!**


	6. Chapter 6

APOV

Sunday afternoon I checked the email again. Bella had sent another message, last night. Before reading, I contemplated calling Edward to let him know that as of last night, she was ok, so he could calm down a little. But then I reminded myself Edward would kick my butt to Antarctica if he found out about this. I felt a slight pang of guilt, but reassured myself, knowing this wasn't interfering with anything, and Bella didn't even know I was reading these.

So I instead turned back to the computer eagerly, and clicked the email.

_Dear Alice,_

_ Today was nice. I went to Port Angeles with Angela and I got my parents Christmas presents. We also went to a movie, which I didn't enjoy very much for certain…reasons. Also, I saw something strange today in the mall, and I'm starting to believe I imagined it. I saw…Edward. And then a moment later he was…gone. I looked all over, but I didn't find him. _

_It's making me…I don't know. It's making me hurt the way it did when…you first left. I have been getting a little better, but now I think I'm getting worse, with all the reminders. I had a dream this morning. In the dream, I was sleeping, and…Edward was there. And um… just before we were going to…kiss….I woke up. _

_Not wanting to stay on that subject for long, I wrote,_

_Anyway, I really think the trip to Port Angeles helped a little. At least, I got my mind off of things for awhile. Angela is very perceptive, like my mom. She sees things in people others don't. That can be a good thing, or it can be a problem. Tonight, I feel like it's a good thing. It's nice to have someone there for you when you're…well, like me. _

_I have to go now, since I'm dead tired after today. I'm not used to doing things like that anymore._

_Night._

Edward? In a mall? In Port Angeles? Impossible. I frowned and my hand twitched toward my cell phone sitting on the desk.

On the other hand, I was glad that Bella had Angela there for her, at least. Maybe, as Bella hoped, it would help her forget us. But then I stopped and really thought about it. Did Bella really _want _to forget us? It was hard to tell. Did _we _want Bella to forget about us? I certainly didn't. Edward might act like he did, but I knew that, deep inside, he wanted her to remember him, even a little, even if she didn't think about him often.

As I re-read the letter, a new wave of curiosity and worry washed over me. Surely Edward wouldn't dare get so close to Bella? For one, he might be seen by her, which she had. For another, did he have _any _idea how seeing Bella again would affect him? Before I could think it through any more, I was already calling Edward.

I waited, sitting on the desk, tapping my foot impatiently. After 7 rings, I growled and stood up to pace. I would wait all day, if I had to. Then,

"Alice?"

"Edward. Where are you?"

"Er…"

" Edward! Please, _please _tell me you _aren't _in Forks right now…." I moaned.

"Why?" his voice sounded slightly alarmed.

" Because, you idiot, don't you have any idea what might happen if Bella saw you? Or if you lost control and went back?

"Not that I would mind that at all, in fact, I wish you _would, _but I'm thinking of you and your stupid reasons. I-"

"Alice. I can control myself. It's- hard," his voice broke and he took a deep breath, " but I can do this. Alice, I'm going to wait for them, Laurent and Victoria. They're not coming anywhere near Bella." His voice was determined, and I knew he would do whatever it took to protect her. I was silent for a few moments, thinking hard.

"Edward, I care about you. I care about Bella too. You're hurting her. I know it, Edward. You have to come back. You're hurting yourself, too. Being around her and not being able to talk to her. I know you're trying to be strong, but Laurent and Victoria aren't going to go after her. They have no reason to. Why would they? For hunting reasons, of course, but there's many, many other people there, and it's not likely they would want to piss you off, with this big coven," he started to interrupt, but I shushed him.

"You either do that, or go back to her. I know you want to, more than anything. I can be more perceptive than you think, even without the visions. You would be happy again. She would be happy again. You could protect her, you could-"

"No, Alice. I can't. I can't go back. She deser-"

"I know, Edward!" I snapped. "You've deluded yourself into thinking you're some kind of monster that you have to protect Bella from. You think she doesn't care about you? You think she doesn't miss you? You're wrong.

"And," I added, before he could interrupt me again, "You can't go on like this, telling yourself this was your fault. It was an accident. Accidents happen."

There was silence for a few seconds.

"She'll move on. She most likely has already. She's probably forgotten all about us by now." He said quietly. I could hear the intense pain behind his voice, though I could tell he tried hard to hide it. Closing my eyes, I made up my mind that it was probably best to just leave him to his thoughts for awhile, now. Before I could tell him goodbye though, he mumbled,

"Bye, Alice." The line went dead. I sighed and laid my phone down and stood up.

This was not good. If Bella saw Edward again, she would start thinking she was going crazy again. She was just now starting to get better, get out, be with friends, and be normal again. Edward wasn't helping this situation at all! The least he could do was keep a safe distance, but no, he let her catch sight of him yesterday, and she was going to pay for it now! Bella might get nightmares, go into another depression, and start to think she was losing it-

Before I could panic too much, a vision clouded my sight, and watched…

Victoria and Laurent were flying through the trees. It was almost nightfall, and the sun was sinking below the horizon, the tree's shadows swaying eerily in the wind. There was a dark figure up ahead, a male. He was running, too. Then all of a sudden, he stopped and spun around, facing Victoria and Laurent. They crept closer, crouching low and glaring at the figure. Then something moved behind them, rustling the scattered dead leaves. All three looked around.

A girl with tangled dark hair scattered with dead leaves, frantic brown eyes, and pale skin hurtled out of the trees and stopped dead in her tracks, breathing hard. Her clothes were torn and snagged, and she looked around, and gasped softly at the sight of Victoria and Laurent. Then her eyes landed on the distant figure, who had frozen. Then, Victoria lunged at her and the girl screamed and dived out of the way-

"Alice? Alice?" Jasper was holding me, shaking my shoulders a little. I blinked, breathing quickly. Carlisle, Esme, Emmett, and Rosalie were all standing around us, wearing identical worried expressions.

"What did you see?"

"Alice, you were shaking. I heard yelling and-"

"What happened? Is Edward okay?"

"I-"

"Everyone, shh!" Carlisle gently touched my arm and said,

"What did you see Alice?"

I looked at him, thinking quickly. What should I say? Esme would be worried sick, and I wasn't even sure if this was happening right _now _yet. I looked at Jasper and he nodded his head reassuringly and rubbed my arm.

" I…I saw Laurent. And Victoria. And they were in a wood somewhere. But it's not happening now because there was no snow. Just dried up leaves. And I know for a fact that it's snowing in Forks, heavily. So…We don't have to worry." I was reassuring myself just as much as I was them.

It _was _snowing there, right? It's almost Christmas, anyway…

"Are you sure? Maybe…"

"No, I'm sure. Besides, Edward can handle it-"

"_Edward?" _Rosalie shrieked. "

"Uh-" I looked helplessly at their alarmed faces. "Uh, yeah….he went to Forks because he followed Laurent's scent. But Laurent isn't there. He's just making sure he doesn't…you know…"

After another half hour of reassuring Esme that Edward and Bella were in no danger at the present time and calming down Rosalie ( she was very angry), I called Edward again, worried about the vision.

"It _is _snowing there, right?"

"Yes, for the last time, it's snowing here. Why?"

I decided not to tell him about the recent vision I'd had, knowing full well he would go berserk and never leave Forks again for fear of Bella being attacked. He was still being careful not to let Bella see him, or so he said, and hung up soon after.

I sat in my room, my mind going around in circles. Edward could handle this. No need to get worked up over it… But what if Bella saw him? What if Edward got carried away and went back? Actually I would be very happy if he did, but we all knew that wasn't going to happen…

"C'mon, Alice. I'm going hunting." Jasper's soft voice came up the stairs. Glad for a distraction from this, I met him on the stairs and grabbed his hand.

"Yeah… I need to get my mind off things, I guess."

We ran the rest of the way down the stair and out the open door into the cool fresh air outside, raindrops starting to fall gently onto the ground.

**A/N: There you go! :] I might be updating a little slower, because I've been pretty busy with stuff, but still probably no less than a chapter a week. **

**:) **


	7. Chapter 7

EPOV

Was it hard? Very. Was it worth it? Definitely.

I sat outside in the snow, carefully staying out of view of the road. Bella would get home in a few minutes, and then I could go see if _they _had left the area yet. They were sticking around, and it made me suspicious.

I heard the distinct rumble of Bella's truck thundering down the road. I shook my head, amused. The red truck came down the road slowly; she was obviously worried she would crash or get into an accident, with the icy roads. _So am I. _

She parked carefully in the driveway and hopped out, slipping a little. I gritted my teeth and clenched my fists. Lugging her heavy backpack onto her shoulder, she made her way to the porch and unlocked the door. Her long brown hair swept to the side, hiding her pale face from view. I sighed and turned away as Bella closed the door behind her.

Ten minutes later, I walked listlessly along a deserted street. Laurent and Victoria were still in Forks, and I decided to go keep an eye on Bella before going hunting. I hadn't since I'd come back to Forks, and it was straining my self control. I put on a burst of speed and was soon outside the house. Bella's bedroom light was off, the curtains half closed. Her truck was still parked there, though. Going around the house, I looked and saw that none of the other lights were one. Frowning, I returned to the front yard .

Settling near a tree, out of sight, I reflected on what had occurred since I'd been here. Bella had been to school every day, and on Saturday she'd went to Port Angeles with Angela Weber. Worried, I had followed them, just in case. I remembered the wonderful moment when Bella had caught sight of me in the mall. That one, small moment when recognition flashed in her eyes, it was bliss. But I ran. I couldn't let her see me.

Then Alice had called me and started freaking out about me being in Forks, being around Bella. I had to admit, it was hard not to jump out and let her see me. But I could handle it. Alice underestimated me.

BPOV

The rest of the weekend passed slowly. Monday morning I almost didn't get up to go to school. I finally dragged myself out of bed with half an hour to spare.

I kept thinking about what I'd seen on the shopping trip with Angela. How could it be? Edward's gone. Long gone. My heart panged at the thought of his name, but I ignored it. Why would he be in Port Angeles, so close to Forks? Was I only seeing things?

I stopped and thought about that one. _That's probably it. I must want to see him so badly, I'm imagining things. _

All week I struggled to concentrate, but my thoughts always seemed to drift away from the classroom…

Friday afternoon, the last day before Christmas break, Mike approached me in the hallway. He looked extremely nervous, and he kept rumpling up his hair in the back.

"Hey, Bella."

I took a deep breath. "Hi, Mike. What's up?"

He hesitated for a moment before grinning widely and saying,

" I was wondering…d'you want to go see a movie tonight?" he looked at me hopefully, and it was my turn to hesitate. I knew he would make a big deal out of this; one thing would lead to another and soon enough I'd be going out with an enthusiastic Mike.

_On the other hand_, I thought, what's _the harm in one little movie?_ I wasn't much in a mood for going home and making dinner just yet, ( then again I wasn't in the mood for a movie with Mike, either) but getting out again would do me good. Before I completely thought it through, I heard myself saying,

"Sure, Mike. How does right after school sound?"

Mike was ecstatic.

I went sullenly to Biology, muttering under my breath and frowning. In the hallway, I saw Jessica give me a dirty look and stalk away. Gossip travels fast.

As always, when I walked in and saw the empty table where I now sat alone, I felt a dull throb in my heart. But I pushed it aside with some effort and slammed my books down. Mike gave me a grin from across the room, and I gritted my teeth. It was going to be a long evening…

After Biology and Gym, Mike caught up to me and made arrangements to pick me up as soon as I dropped my truck off at my house.

I drove home slowly, trying in vain to put off the moment when Mike pulled up to the house. Slamming the door behind me, I trudged up to my room, dumped my bag on the floor, stomped back downstairs, and stared at the phone. Sighing in defeat, I picked it up and dialed the number.

"Chief Swan."

"Hey, Dad, it's Bella."

"Oh. What's up?" His tone was surprised, and I heard the rustling of paper.

"Um… I'm going out tonight. I won't be late. I'll probably even be home in time to make dinner, alright?" _Hopefully._

" Oh? With who?" I winced.

" Mike Newton." I mumbled, blushing. There was a moment of silence, before I heard Charlie chuckle softly.

" Okay, okay, I'll spare you the embarrassment, Bells. Don't worry about me, I'll most likely work late anyway…." He sounded happy to hear I was going out…with a guy. I scowled.

"Alright then…If it's okay with you…" I was half hoping he would change his mind and say 'no'.

"Yep. I'm good with it."

"Kay. Bye, then." I sighed and put the phone away. I heard honking outside.

Grumbling, I grabbed my wallet and threw on my jacket, running outside. Sow fell silently from a grey sky, and I slipped a little on a patch of ice on the driveway. I pulled open the passenger side door of Mike's car and climbed in.

"Hey, Bella!" Mike said, pulling out carefully. I tried not to grimace at his enthusiasm.

"Hey, Mike." I said stiffly, buckling my seat belt.

He chattered happily all the way to Port Angeles, and I rarely had to say anything. As we drove down the street to the movie theater, we passed the place where I'd seen Edward a week ago. I closed my eyes and looked away.

We found a parking spot and climbed out. I walked to the door and Mike rushed ahead to pull it open for me. I smiled tightly and stepped inside. I let Mike handle the tickets and I went to buy the popcorn and drinks.

We entered the theater just as the lights dimmed and the previews started. Mike grabbed my hand and led me to a seat. I pulled my hand away discreetly as I sat down.

The movie turned out to be a gooey romance.

I squirmed and blushed frequently as Mike looked over at me every so often. My stomach was in a knot and I crossed my arms uncomfortably. I got up twice during the movie, once with an excuse to go get more Coke, and once saying I had to go to the Ladies' room.

As the end credits started scrolling across the screen after what felt like years, I jumped up quickly pulling my jacket on. Mike looked at me curiously and stood too. Zipping his coat up, he said,

"How'd you like the movie?"

I bit my lip. "Uh..yeah..it was okay…"

In the car, I sat silently staring out the window, pleading with Mike in my head not to do anything…awkward. Snow was falling heavily and the wind was picking up.

_Oh, God, don't let me get stranded in a blizzard with Mike…_

"Maybe we should head home…It's starting to look bad out there. He grimly agreed with me and reluctantly headed out of town. I glanced at him sideways. He looked a bit disappointed.

After an agonizing forty-five minutes of awkward and uncomfortable silence, he pulled up to my house. He started to get out to walk me to the house, but I stopped him. "It's okay. You'd better get home; it's only getting worse out there."

"Are you sure?" I almost rolled my eyes. _I'm sure I can walk to the door without getting lost or breaking something, Mike._

"Yeah. See you, Mike. Thanks, I had fun…" His face brightened and kicked myself internally for encouraging him.

"Bye, Bells." I got out and shut the door, maybe a bit too forcefully. Stomping up to the porch, I almost fell on my face when my foot hit a slippery patch of ice. When I opened the door, a swirl of snow gusted in, and I shut the door firmly. After hanging my coat up and slipping off my boots, I went up to my room and flopped on the bed. Charlie wasn't home yet. I lay there for awhile, but unwillingly got back up and went downstairs to make dinner before Charlie got home.

Two hours later, I trudged up to my room, tired and not in a very good mood at all. Shutting off the light and not even bothering to change, I crawled under the blankets and curled up into a ball.

As I drifted into a light sleep, I heard my lullaby playing softly in my head, just as if Edward was there, humming it to me…

A/N: I'm so sorry for not updating sooner, I've just been going and going like the Energizer bunny ! xD

But I should have the next chapter up really soon, since I have part of it written already. I was going to put it in this chapter, but then it would be too long, and it didn't seem like the right place to put it anyway.

:]


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: Hope you like it. It's short and not overall a very important chapter, but it feels good to post something :)**

EPOV

I waited there for a long time. I didn't mind. I was really happy that Bella was being normal. Maybe she HAD moved on, as Alice had said. My heart sank at the thought, but I shook it off and continued waiting.

It was dark and windy when an unfamiliar car pulled into the driveway. I frowned and raised myself into a crouch. I gasped as I heard the thoughts of Bella's companion.

It was Mike Newton. I closed my eyes, jealousy raging through me. I shook my head and forced myself to look up. I tried my best to block out Newton's thoughts of Bella, and I breathed deeply. Bella stopped him from opening his door to walk her to the door… _Good thing she did…I probably couldn't have kept my temper if they kissed… _I shuddered.

Bella opened her door partially.

"Are you sure?" he asked.

" Yeah. See you, Mike. Thanks, I had fun…" I took another shuddering breath and turned away. I knew this shouldn't bother me, that this is what I'd wanted…but I couldn't stop the hurt and anger from overpowering me. I kicked at the snow and spun back around to watch.

"Bye, Bells." I swallowed and forced myself to stay put and not go tear Newton to pieces.

Bella closed the door and he pulled out. She slipped on the way to the house, and I jumped forward a few feet, too distracted to stop myself in time. Luckily she didn't look back as she shut the door.

BPOV

On the morning of Christmas Eve, I left a note on the counter for Charlie, saying I had went out to get some stuff from the store. It was partly true, but I mostly just wanted to walk and clear my mind.

Zipping up my jacket and pulling gloves and a scarf on, I stepped outside quietly and shut the door. It was a cloudy day and snow fell silently. The trees were covered with a thick layer of frost. I sighed, my breath visible like smoke, and stepped carefully down the 3 stairs. I headed for the edge of the yard, where the forest and the path started. There was less snow in there, and I ducked under a branch, stepping onto the path. I heard a twig snap behind me. I spun around, narrowing my eyes anxiously.

There was nothing there. Shrugging it off, I continued down the path, taking my time. It was actually quite nice here, I thought, even with all the snow and cold. Pausing to adjust my scarf, I noticed a set of footprints a few feet from the path. Frowning slightly, I went to investigate. They must have been fairly new, since the snow was coming down thickly.

I shivered a little. I don't think it was the cold.

Turning back, I jumped as a squirrel ran up a tree nearby. I hurried back to the house and closed the door behind me. Seeing that Charlie had already left, I wondered how long I'd been walking. It didn't seem like very long…

Once inside, I poured myself a bowl of cereal and sat down, chewing slowly. I wondered what I should do today. All the Christmas shopping was done, and the small Christmas tree was already standing in the living room, decorated. With a pang, I wondered how all- out Alice would've gone with the Christmas décor.

When I finished my breakfast and washed out my bowl, I went back upstairs. I turned on the computer and sat down to wait. When it was done, I opened my email account and entered the newly familiar email: Alice's. I typed quickly, and was almost done when someone rang the doorbell downstairs. I hurriedly concluded the letter and hit send.

Rushing down the stairs to get the door, I wondered who it could be.

APOV

Christmas was approaching, and fast. Everything was now decorated and wrapped and set up, of course. I wasn't the last-minute type.

Still, it didn't seem quite like Christmas without Edward here. Sometimes during the holiday season, he would play Christmas carols on the piano and, rather reluctantly, help decorate.

Everyone was home at the time, and Jasper and Emmett sat at the table, playing checkers. Rolling my eyes, I said,

"Don't you two ever give up?"

" Nope." Emmett muttered, his concentration completely focused on the board. Sighing, I went to the empty living room, where the TV was on, the volume low. Ignoring it, I sat on the sofa for a few moments, before wondering if Bella had written to me yet. Making up my mind, I stood. Heading upstairs, I heard Emmett cursing under his breath. I chuckled. Jasper was no amateur.

I was in luck- Bella _had _written.

_Dear Alice,_

_ Yesterday was hell. I mean it. Mike Newton talked me into going to a movie with him. I don't know what got into me when I agreed. I guess I didn't have the heart to turn him down._

_ It was horrible. First off, the movie was a romance. A very cheesy romance. Even before, I never used to like them much. Now, now I can't stand them._

_ After I suffered through that, I thought he was going to take me to dinner. But for once, luck was on my side. The snow was coming down pretty badly, and the wind was picking up. He agreed to go home. He was going to walk me up to the door when we arrived, and for a second there I thought he was going to try and kiss me or something. _

_ I mean, Mike is an okay kind of guy. But I just really don't want to get into that kind of thing again right now. _

_ It's Christmas Eve. And Charlie is working. I'm all alone. Nothing to do. Nowhere to go. I suppose I could make cookies or something, just to pass the time. Hmm..that's not too bad of an idea, actually.._

_ Someone's ringing the doorbell. _

_ Love, Bella._

I grimaced. Edward couldn't have taken that well. But I dared not call him at the moment. I figured it was best to just leave him be and let him do what he wants to. It's not like I could stop him from doing something foolish anyway.

**A/N: I'll try and get the next chapter up before Christmas, but if I don't , I wish you guys a merry Christmas! **

**Thank you for reviews and story alerts and favorites. It really means a lot to me and makes me write faster!**


	9. Chapter 9

**BPOV**

Glancing out the window as I went to get the door, I saw that it was Jacob Black. I hurried to open the door for him.

"Hey, Bella!" He grinned widely at me, and I couldn't help but smile back at him. I opened the door wider, inviting him in. A gust of chilly wind came in with him, and the soft snow on the ground swirled up.

As he stepped in, Jacob asked, "Charlie's working?"

" Yeah, he should be back in a couple hours, though." He nodded.

" So what brings _you _here today?" I asked teasingly. Jacob smiled again.

"What? I can't even stop in without being questioned about my reasons?" He shrugged out of his jacket and hung it up. We walked to the living room and sat on the couch.

" Besides, it's Christmas, right?" He said.

"Not technically."

"In a few hours, yes."

"Bah Humbug." Jake laughed and leaned back.

We talked easily for a while, and Jacob watched while I made dinner for when Charlie got home. Soon, too soon it seemed, Jake excused himself, saying he had to get back to La Push.

"You and Billy should come by here more often. I know Charlie'd like that."

"Sounds good, Bella. See you! Merry Christmas." Smiling, he walked to his car and started it. I watched him drive away down the road before going back into the house.

Christmas and the New Year flashed by quickly, and before I knew it, Monday morning, the first day back to school, was here.

I drove to the school tiredly. Sighing, I opened the door and a blast of cold air rushed in. Shuddering, I stepped out. Thankfully, Mike was nowhere to be seen, and Angela's car was already here. Realizing I was a bit late, I hurried to class.

EPOV

Walking slowly along the sidewalk, hands in my jacket pockets, I frowned. Victoria and Laurent had moved on farther north, and I was debating whether or not it would be safe to leave soon. Alice had been right. This, being around Bella without her knowing I was here, was harder on me than I had expected. I didn't want to leave her, though. I'd gotten used to her presence, somewhat, again in these past few weeks.

I heard a car approaching, so I ducked my head, lest someone recognize me. It would be time for Bella to be driving home soon, unless of course, she had plans. I was glad to see she had moved on, but it was still hard to watch her with _Mike Newton. _I shuddered.

My phone buzzed. There was 99.9% chance it was Alice calling to see if I was still here, what was the weather like; Bella hasn't seen you yet, has she? I sighed and reluctantly pulled it out of my pocket.

"Hey, Alice." I said glumly.

"Why so gloomy?" I frowned again. Wasn't it obvious?

"It's nothing."

"Ah." Rolling my eyes, I added,

"Victoria and Laurent have continued farther north. "

"So you're coming back?" I detected a trace of hopefulness in her voice, though I could tell she tried to hide it.

"I don't think so…not just yet, anyway."

"You can't protect her forever, Edward. Sooner or later, knowing Bella, something's going to happen and she'll get hurt."

"I know…I just want to wait until I'm sure they've really gone before…leaving." She was silent for a minute, and I continued walking.

I heard voices in the background, and Alice whispering something back to whoever it was.

"Esme wishes you would come back. And so do I, Edward. It's not the same without you. Bella will be fine. They've left. I…I saw them. They're not coming back anytime soon. "

I hesitated. It would be nice to go back… yet I _wanted _to stay, to do all I could to keep Bella from harm. At the same time, I _wanted _to leave, to go back to the rest of the coven, and to not be able to see Bella with Mike Newton, and Jacob Black.

He'd gone to her house a few days ago, and there was something wrong…something out of place. I couldn't identify it, though. I didn't like it. As much as I hated to admit, I was also…a bit jealous. He and Bella just got along so easily. From what I'd heard of their conversation, Bella was more…calm and herself when she was with him. It bothered me, though I knew I should be happy she wasn't depressed and doing everything she could to get us to come back.

"Edward? Edward?" I jerked a little, startled out of my thoughts.

"Sorry, Alice. I was just thinking."


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N **

**Wow! I really **_**really **_**didn't expect all these reviews! It's inspired me to continue, and not just because I don't want to let down what few readers I have, but also because I want to. *hugs all of you* You guys are the best! And here's the next chapter, after so long!**

_I hesitated. It would be nice to go back… yet I __wanted __to stay, to do all I could to keep Bella from harm. At the same time, I __wanted __to leave, to go back to the rest of the coven, and to not be able to see Bella with Mike Newton, and Jacob Black…._

**-EPOV- **

I meandered in the woods for a while, torn between two choices. _It would be so nice to go back….so easy to just reveal myself… _I thought wistfully. _But she wouldn't want you back. You left her. She's surely moved on by now. _I sighed, frustrated. Alice had said that Laurent and Victoria weren't coming this way. Had she seen them in a vision? I frowned.

I walked through the freshly fallen snow at a slow pace, leaving footprints behind me but not really caring. I struggled with another pair of decisions: To stay or not to stay? I was very reluctant to leave Bella now, after I'd seen her again. It would be like breaking up with her and leaving all over again. Maybe even worse. But I didn't exactly want to go back to the others yet either. I felt strangely distant from them. I finally decided to stay here for a while longer, just to make sure Alice's vision was correct ( as if any of her visions had ever been wrong.) Maybe I was just making an excuse to stay with Bella for just a little while longer…

**-BPOV- **

After Jacob's Christmas Eve visit, he started coming over from La Push more often. To my astonishment, I found myself laughing again, and the pain in my chest that always seemed to be present began to dull. Occasionally I went to his house in La Push, and we sat in his shed and talked, sometimes for hours. Both Billy and Charlie made no objections, and Charlie seemed much happier too.

But I still wasn't better. I still woke up with nightmares sometimes, screaming into my pillow. I still distanced myself from most of my friends. But it was a start.

January turned into February and it seemed to be warmer, though there was still plenty of snow on the ground. One morning I woke up earlier than usual, and, not able to go back to sleep, I sat at the computer and switched it on. I hadn't written to Alice in awhile…

_Dear Alice,_

_ Things are a little better here. I'm busier than I was before, which seems to be doing me good. Maybe it was a bad idea to mope around ( as Charlie puts it) all those months. Maybe I could've prevented all the pain before._

_ I've been over at La Push often nowadays, with Billy's son Jacob. We're working on his old car, and trying to find parts for it. The other day, we went to Hoquiam, where we went to an auto parts store. We were also looking at parts for a pair of motorcycles I got. We're fixing them up, and Jake is confident he can get them running. _

_ I still have pain, though. Being around Jacob, and sometimes even Angela helps, but it can't stop the nightmares. _

_ Anyway, I need to stop here…nearly time to get ready for another dreaded day at school…_

Groaning, I hit send and stood up, stretching. I grabbed my bag and dragged my feet off to the bathroom.

**-EPOV- **

I sat under a bare, frozen, frost covered tree in silence, listening for Bella's truck gloomily. She was off visiting that Jacob Black- again. I knew it was selfish to feel so jealous, but I couldn't help it. It was starting to get dark, and an owl hooted softly somewhere in the trees behind me.

I did notice something different, though. Bella seemed…happier. I'd even heard her laughing a few times, when she and Black were inside the house. Part of me was joyful, happy that Bella was happy. But another part of me was in a rage, angry that it should be so easy for this Jacob Black to make her happy, when all I had caused her was sadness. The reasonable part of me said that it had only lasted a couple weeks, and that Bella had gotten over it. The jealous part disagreed. I sighed heavily and got up. No use waiting for her to get back.

I pulled my hood up so nobody would recognize me if I was seen, and walked briskly through the trees, reaching the sidewalk after a minute or so. I walked down the pavement glumly, hands in my pockets. I heard Bella's truck in the distance, and pulled my hood farther over my face. It was now dark, and the night sky was clear and full of stars.

Her ancient red truck came thundering down the road, and I could see Bella's fragile form in the driver's seat, clutching the wheel and driving slow over the slippery ice covering the street. I ducked my head and quickened my pace as she drove past. She didn't even seem to notice me.

**A/N Also, I'm going to going back to the previous chapters and editing a bit. I've spotted some glaring mistakes..xD. Thanks again for all the reviews, faves, and alerts! I'll be updating Change sometime soon, too, but I'd rather try and stick to one story for a little while so I don't start confusing the two xD But after I start getting used to this again I'll update Change :) **


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: I would've updated a few days ago but I've been having a blast on Pottermore xD I FINALLY got my welcome email! I swear, it must've been close to the last email sent out! D:**

** APOV**

I was walking absently around outside after watching Emmett and Jasper play chess for awhile, ( Jasper defeated Emmett spectacularly) when I felt my cell phone buzz in my pocket. I quickly took it out and answered. It was Edward.

"Hey Edward…"

" Hi.." he murmured. I waited patiently, knowing he would get to his point soon enough.

"I'm coming back soon. " I immediately felt my spirits rise.

" Really? That's great!" He didn't answer at first.

" I'm staying for another week. Just to make sure you didn't make a mistake or something. " I refrained from assuring him I was sure that Laurent and Victoria were gone for the time being. It would just get him worked up more than he already was.

"Okay…It'll be nice to have you back."

"…It'll be nice to be back." He sounded unsure, though.

Later, while everyone else was occupied, (Emmett and Jasper playing chess again after Emmett had demanded a rematch) I snuck upstairs to check for any news from Bella. She hadn't written in almost two weeks, and I was beginning to worry. So I was delighted when I saw the new message. Glancing at the doorway, I clicked on the message and read eagerly.

_Dear Alice,_

_Things are a little better here. I'm busier than I was before, which seems to be doing me good. Maybe it was a bad idea to mope around ( as Charlie puts it) all those months. Maybe I could've prevented all the pain before._

_I've been over at La Push often nowadays, with Billy's son Jacob. We're working on his old car, and trying to find parts for it. The other day, we went to Hoquiam, where we went to an auto parts store. We were also looking at parts for a pair of motorcycles I got. We're fixing them up, and Jake is confident he can get them running._

_I still have pain, though. Being around Jacob, and sometimes even Angela helps, but it can't stop the nightmares._

_Anyway, I need to stop here…nearly time to get ready for another dreaded day at school…_

I sat at the desk for a long time, staring at the message. _Motorcycles? What was she thinking? _

**EPOV**

One Tuesday morning, I waited behind the trees on the outskirts of Bella's lawn, patiently waiting for her to leave for school, as was my routine. I could faintly hear her moving around, though it seemed almost too early for her to be getting up. The sun hadn't even risen yet. I brushed it off. Bella could get up early if she wanted.

I leaned my back against a tree and crossed my arms, watching the tree branches overhead sway in the breeze. The light wind felt cool on my skin, so to a human like Bella I suppose it would have felt cold. I suddenly heard a quiet sound. Like a groan… I listened hard, but I didn't hear anything else. I slowly drifted back into my own thoughts, dismissing the sound, thinking maybe it was the wind picking up.

I was leaving in a week. I wasn't sure how I felt about that yet. It seemed Bella was reasonably normal, although a bit quieter than she used to be. She never went out with people like Angela or…Mike Newton anymore. Just Jacob Black. I scowled for a moment, but then reminded myself that Black was much better than Newton. I shuddered.

I heard another strange sound, and this time it was definitely a sob. A leaped up and before I knew what I was doing I was standing in the yard. It had come from Bella's room. I considered my chances of remaining undiscovered. They weren't good, but I quickly and quietly climbed the tree outside her window anyway. Peering into the room, I saw Bella's small form huddled under the quilt on her bed, shaking. Sobbing. My mind raced_. What happened? Who hurt her? _I was very suddenly filled with rage, wanting to know who had done this to her, so I could get revenge…

Then Bella let out another sob and my attention snapped back to her. I had no idea what to do. I couldn't just burst into her room in the early hours of the morning after disappearing for months, offering a shoulder to cry on and a promise of revenge. But I couldn't just leave her there all alone either. I hung from the thick branch, torn.

"Edward…" I froze, my hands gripping the branch even harder. _What..?_

Bella rolled over fitfully, her face coming into my field of vision. There were tears streaming down her cheeks and her eyes were tightly shut, as if trying to block out a horrible sight. Her hair was tangled all around her face and her small hands clutched at the quilt.

"Edward…" she sobbed again. I hung there at her window, stunned. If she had woken up at that moment, I would've been seen. But she remained sleeping. I couldn't move for a long time. After awhile I dropped to the ground, falling to my knees in the white snow. _What had just happened?_

I got up and fled to the forest. The sun was beginning to rise over the horizon and the sky was a cloudy, gloomy grey. As I came to a halt, a horrible, crushing truth came over me. _I _had done this to her. _I _had caused her all this pain. She was having a nightmare, because of me. Another realization came to me: I had made the worst decision of my existence by leaving Bella all those months ago. I had been trying to protect her, but all I had done was hurt her. I sunk to the ground.

I lay back in the powdery snow in the trees, and closed my eyes tightly, wishing that I could do something right for a change.


	12. Chapter 12

**Sorry this took so long, I've just been extremely busy. But now that the holidays are over I'm not quite as busy. I only plan on writing another few chapters for this story, and it'll be done. I'm not sure how many, yet, but more than 3 and less than 10. (: I think this is my favorite chapter so far.**

EPOV

The next morning as Bella stumbled out the door and made her way carefully to her truck, trying not to slip on ice, I remembered what had happened early this morning. Bella was not happy. I knew that now.

I didn't know what to do though. I didn't know how I was going to fix this mess that I had made. But I knew I had to do _something. _

Long after Bella backed out of the driveway and went to school, I paced the woods. As night was starting to fall, I sat under a tree and groaned, leaning my head against the rough wood. Memories flashed through my mind.

_Bursting into the ballet studio, knowing that I was too late… James snapping Bella's leg, her screams piercing the air. The rage overcoming me, controlling me; I flew through the air, slamming into James with enough force to kill a human in an instant. The look of trust and relief in her eyes behind the pain and fear when she saw me._

_The taste of her blood..Carlisle's voice a faint sound in the distance, telling me to stop…_

_Bella laying in the hospital bed while I stood by her side, praying that she would be okay… _

_Renee arriving while I pretended to sleep. Bella waking up, disoriented. Renee explaining what she'd been told had happened, the look of realization coming over Bella's face as she remembered…_

_Her reaction to the thought of leaving me and going to Jacksonville. Her racing heartbeat, her fast breathing, the look of fear in her eyes._

I sunk to my knees in the trampled snow, torn. Being with her, I had hurt her and put her into danger countless times. But leaving her had had the same result. I slammed my fist into the snow, frustrated, making a dent in the frozen ground.

_At prom, Bella standing on my feet as we slowly danced, twinkling lights in the background. " I want you…always." she whispered._

I stared at the millions of miniscule ice crystals before me, not really seeing them.

_That day that we left, in the forest, Bella's eyes pleading. "Where you are is the right place for me." _

_Her broken expression as I said the words that would make her let me go. "Bella, I don't want you to come with me."_

"_You…don't…want me? "_

_It had taken every bit of my strength and determination to say that one simple word. "No."_

Bella's truck roared down the street and she parked outside her house. I knew I had to get away, before I did something rash as a result of my confused thoughts. I ran hard and fast back through the forest, not stopping until I was miles away.

I wandered through the forest for hours, desperately racking my brain to figure out how to fix this mess. My feet crunched over dead leaves, the treetops sheltering the ground from snow.

Just as the sun was beginning to rise above the horizon, a horribly familiar scent wafted through the air from the east. Victoria and Laurent.

I froze for a split second, then cursed violently and spun around in the other direction, running, almost flying back to Bella. _How could I have not noticed this before?_, I thought angrily.

I had been undecided just moments before. But the knowledge that my enemies were mere miles away from Bella had decided for me. I was going back to Bella. I didn't care that I might put her in danger again. Right now, I was the only one who could protect her from this danger.

I also knew that there was no leaving again. I knew it would break her heart if I left again after the danger had passed. I increased my speed, allowing myself a smile despite the circumstances. I was going back.

BPOV

I woke up with the sun shining in my eyes, spilling its light across my face. I sat up slowly and slipped out of bed. I smiled slightly as my eyes landed on the small box of candy Jake had given me for Valentine's Day. He hadn't made it awkward. It was just a simple gift for a friend, nothing more. We both knew that our friendship wasn't a romantic one, although Jake had admitted to having had a slight crush on me when we first met.

I stretched and yawned. It was a bit early for me to be getting up, especially since it was a weekend. I felt no desire to go back to bed, though, so I pushed the curtains open farther and looked outside. The snow was beginning to melt and small patches of grass showed through the blanket of white.

I turned away to go to the bathroom to change from my worn pajamas into something else, but something caught my eye. I turned back to the window and inspected it closer.

A figure stood on the edge of the yard, near the trees. I stopped myself from gasping. _Who could it be? A burglar? Should I go wake Charlie up? _

Before I could move, the figure stepped out of the trees into the sunlight. I froze, struggling not to scream. There stood Edward Cullen, his skin glinting in the weak morning sunlight. He looked directly up at my window, and our eyes met. I gasped for air and stumbled backwards onto my bed.

_It can't be him! I must be dreaming…_

I forced myself to stand up again and look down into the yard. He was standing there beside the tree outside my window, motionless. I didn't know whether to laugh or cry.

Slowly, hesitantly, I opened the window, my hands shaking, and stood back.

EPOV

Bella's eyes met mine, and right then I knew there was no going back. Not that I wanted to.

I slowly walked closer and closer to the house, until I stood directly beneath her window. I heard the sound of it sliding open. More nervous than I had been in a long time, I jumped up to grip a tree branch, then another. Taking a deep, shaky breath, I slid silently into the room.

Her smell was overwhelming; it had been so long since I had been this close. But I knew that I could handle it. She was standing next to the open window, staring disbelievingly at me, her mouth hanging open. For a long moment, we stared at each other. Then she whispered,

"It's you…It's really you…"

Not trusting myself to speak yet, I nodded slowly.

"I-I don't understand." She was shaking, and I feared she would fall, but I answered,

"I came back because I discovered Victoria and Laurent are in the area. They want revenge, so…they're trying to get at you to hurt me."

"B-But I thought…I thought you didn't want me?" There was resentment in her voice, and I struggled to find the right words. I closed my eyes.

"Bella…I never stopped loving you. Every moment after I left, I couldn't stop thinking of you. I never stopped worrying, never stopped wondering about how you were doing. I left because I didn't want to hurt you anymore, Bella." I opened my eyes and looked at her sincerely. "I'm so, _so, _sorry for everything I've done. For all the hurt I've caused you, and my family. For the danger I've put you in. For everything."

She stared at me, shocked. She sank onto her bed and murmured,

" This isn't real. I'm only dreaming…"

I shook my head, sitting next to her and carefully put a hand on her fragile arm, letting her feel my cold skin. " You're not dreaming, Bella." She gasped and pulled away from my touch involuntarily.

"Edward…I-I can't believe this." She got up and began to pace the room, her bare feet hardly making a sound on the floor. "You come back, after almost 5 months without no contact whatsoever, all the while I'm believing I would never see you again, or Alice, or Emmett, or anyone in your family. I thought you were gone forever. I knew I could never find you again, no matter how hard I searched. You were gone, and I was just beginning to accept that, to move on with my life!" She realized she was beginning to raise her voice, and she was quiet for a moment, listening for Charlie. When no sounds came from the rest of the house, she continued in a whisper,

" I went all this time believing you didn't want me. I was broken for a long time, Charlie wanted me to go live with my mom. But I was starting to move on, Edward, and then suddenly you come here out of nowhere… "She looked close to tears. I started to speak, but she said,

" I just need some time to think, Edward. I-I can't…" She promptly sat down at her desk and buried her face in her hands.

I berated myself for being so arrogant as to think she would just accept me back without question. I reminded myself yet again of what she had gone through. I was suddenly unsure of my actions. _Maybe if I had just waited a while longer. She was starting to move on, she said it herself! I was so selfish…And now I just ruined everything…_

We sat in silence for a long time. Finally we heard sounds of movement from Charlie's room, and she sat up. There were no tears. Her face was completely calm. She looked at me, and I saw her defenses crumble. Her eyes became vulnerable, her hard mask falling away to reveal the Bella I knew and loved. Suddenly she was in my arms, half sobbing, half laughing.

"You're back…you're actually right here in my room with me…" Bella pulled away and wiped her tears away with the back of her hand, embarrassed.

I nodded slowly. " If…you still want me here." I looked away, afraid of what I might see in her expression, but she reached up, and, with a warm hand, guided my face back to look at her.

"Of course I still want you here! I was just…shocked. I'm still not entirely sure if I'm awake."

"But…I thought you said you were moving on?" She thought for a moment.

"Well…not exactly. By that, I guess I meant that I was…better….than before." She avoided my eyes.

I hung my head, closing my eyes shut tight. "How can you ever forgive me after what I did to you?"

Bella quietly sat back down next to me and put her hand over one of mine. "You were only trying to protect me. I know that now."

"That still doesn't excuse my actions."

"Edward, you made a mistake. Everyone makes mistakes. " She pushed back hair away from my face. "You're here now, and that's all that matters. I'm alright, and I forgive you completely."

I looked up again. She was watching me, taking in my presence after so long. I pulled her into my arms and she sighed contentedly. "Thank you." I said quietly.

She pulled away again and squeezed my hand. She stood. " I need to go see if Charlie's leaving or not. I'll be right back." I nodded.

Just as she touched the doorknob, she looked back at me, a look of fear in her eyes. " Don't leave me again. Please."

"I promise."


	13. Chapter 13

BPOV

My mind raced as I padded down the hallway to Charlie's room. It was way too much for me to take in. _Edward was actually back!_

I tapped softly on Charlie's door and went in. He was sitting on his bed, putting on his boots.

"Morning, Bells." He smiled at me.

"Morning, Dad. You going fishing?" I glanced at his boots again and my question was confirmed.

He nodded nonchalantly, and then suddenly looked up again. "-Unless you want me to stay with you. Is Jake coming over today?"

"No…Billy said he was sick when I called over there."

"So you want me to stay?" I quickly shook my head.

"No, I'll be fine, Dad. You go and have a good time."

"You're sure? I wouldn't mind…"

"Positive."

After telling him I was going back to bed, and saying goodbye, I walked slowly back to my room, scared of what I might find there. What if he was gone? What if he changed his mind?

But when I opened the door, Edward was right there, waiting for me, patient as ever. I couldn't help smiling.

"Hey." I said.

He looked at me with the most loving, caring expression I'd ever seen. It took my breath away.

"Hi, Bella."

I sat on the bed next to him and hugged him again, trying to convince myself that he was really here. He stroked my hair softly. It was like he had never left. There was no distance between us, there was no awkwardness.

I pulled away and examined his face. There were dark circles under his pitch black eyes, and I could tell he was having some trouble with the scent, after being gone for so long. I stood up hastily, moving away slightly, towards the window, and opened it again, letting the cold, fresh morning air come in.

"Better?" I asked, coming to sit with him again. He nodded.

We sat in each other's arms in companionable silence for awhile, listening to the sounds of Charlie making his breakfast downstairs, and leaving. As the sounds of his car faded away, I stirred.

"So…where is everyone else?" Edward looked away. I waited a moment, and was just going to drop the subject when he said,

"They don't know I'm here. I've…been spying on you, to put it bluntly." He looked down, letting his arm fall away from me and wringing his hands together anxiously. "Alice saw Victoria and Laurant here, so I came to make sure you were safe. I was going to leave after the danger passed, but then I…I realized what I had done to you. All this time, I was hurting you when I was trying to protect you." His voice broke, and he hung his head. I scooted closer and held him tighter.

"It's okay…I know you meant well." He looked at me gratefully and wrapped his arm around my waist again.

"And then they came back into the area. They aren't close enough for me to hear their thoughts, but they're here. "

I knew Edward wouldn't let them hurt me. I felt no fear of them being here. I felt completely safe around Edward; I trusted him with my life, and Charlie's.

Silence fell again, and then I got up, announcing that I was going to go change and have some breakfast.

"I'll meet you in the kitchen, then." Murmured Edward, and he leaned towards me and kissed my cheek so softly, I barely felt it. I smiled and squeezed his hand. Finally, my world felt almost whole again. And all those months didn't matter to me anymore. All the nightmares and sleepless nights didn't matter to me anymore. Edward came, and suddenly they all disappeared. The dark shadow that had been lurking over me for so long was finally gone. I knew I would never love any other man but him.

**A/N: Sorry for the long wait! But I actually kind of like the ending paragraph here. It came together nicely, I think. (: I'll have a few more chapters to write, and then I think this story will be finished! **

**I've decided not to continue my other story, Change. I just don't have the inspiration to finish it, and I started that waaaay back was I was such an amateur, lol. (Not that I'm not still an amateur, but I mean even more of an amateur). I just wanted to practice writing something, I was obsessed with Twilight back then. I still like it, but I realize now it's not the best books series I've ever read. It's not the best movie, either. I still like it, and I still love the characters. But this story wasn't original. It wasn't planned out. It wasn't even very good. I'm terribly sorry to anyone who might've wanted me to finish it, and I know I would be upset if a story I was following didn't get finished, In fact, it's happened to me before, But I can't finish. What's the point of writing if you don't enjoy it? If I tried to finish that story, it would sound bad. It would probably sound uninspired and dull. It wouldn't be much fun to read. I'm sorry. I'm just glad that there aren't too many people that will miss it much! I would feel so, so much worse if it had had a lot of readers. **

**Anyway, I'll have another chapter up sometime soon. (By soon, I could mean in a few hours, or in a few months, lol. But I think I've got the end of this pretty much planned out. )**

Thank you for reading, all reviews are very much appreciated. I would've never gotten this far in the story without you guys 3


	14. Epilogue

Epilogue

BPOV

It's taken me awhile to adjust to the Cullens again, but I'm so glad that they came back. After Edward returned, Victoria and Laurent moved on. I shudder to think what might have happened if he hadn't been around. Charlie and I would have been completely vulnerable., along with the entire town of Forks.

Soon after Edward decided to stay, Alice and the others came back, too. I was so happy to see everyone (even Rosalie) that I almost started crying.

Jacob and I are still friends, and he seems glad to see me happy again. Sometimes I go out to the reservation to see him, and sometimes his friends are there. He and the Cullens don't particularly like each other (I have no idea why…) but they're friendly enough.

Charlie is also happy that I'm better now. I had already started to recover before I knew Edward was here, and Charlie's thankful that I'm not totally dependent on Edward, or anyone else. I'm thankful for that, too. If my life only revolved around Edward, I would have died of a broken heart or something when the Cullens left.

One day when we were just hanging out at my house, just the two of us, Alice told me that she had received my emails and read them, but hadn't done anything because she knew Edward wouldn't want to interfere. She said she'd been very amused when she found out that, in the end, Edward had been the one to finally give in and come back.

Anyway, it all almost seems too good to be true: that Laurent and Victoria left, just like that, that the Cullens have come back, and that ironically, I've gained a wonderful friend, Jacob, through my depression.

If I've learned anything through this whole experience, it's to treasure those you love and make the most of every moment you have with them, because you never know if one day they'll be gone.

**A/N: This is the last chapter of Letters to Alice. I'm very sorry for not updating in so long, but there's some issues at my house and I didn't really have the time or inspiration to finish. But today I had nothing to do, I finished up the story (: **

**Thank you to all who reviewed, faved, and stuck with the story even though I'm one of the slowest writers ever. You guys are awesome, and I never would have finished the story without you (:**

**I made a different account, and won't be posting any new stories on this one. For anyone who's interested in following me at my new account, my new username is SarahSkye. I'll be revising a couple of my stories and reposting them there, as well was hopefully writing some new ones (:**

**Thanks for reading!**


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